Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Minding the Gap

This isn't so much a story about a memory lapse as one of judgment. If I can't share a day of apparel peril with my menoposse*, where else can I tell the tale?

During my daughter's last visit home, she cleaned out several drawers. She unearthed a good-as-new, size 6 pair of khaki slacks from Gap and dropped them in the to-go pile. I tried them on (standing all the while), and they fit like a glove. New summer pants without the agony of a shopping trip! I spirited them away to my closet.

Yesterday was the day to show the world there's no such thing as a generation gap at my house--I can wear size 6 hand-me-downs from my daughter. The first inkling of trouble, however, was my first proper sitting experience clad in khaki as I drove to work. The pants felt like concrete casing about my legs and stomach. I wondered would they stretch like denim (they did not) and would the seams hold (they did). But on arrival at the office, I got compliments from my 20-something medical assistant and 50-something medical partner. A droopy, half-century+, back end packed into stretch-resistant khaki is apparently a thing of beauty.

I spend my days talking to patients while perched on a backless exam stool. The only way my half-century+ back can handle that is by leaning forward from the hips. I found out minute one with Patient One that leaning forward was not an option. One, I couldn't breathe if I did, and two, didn't want to test the zipper strength.

Patient One and I discussed back pain, and I allowed as how I had that too. "No wonder," she noted, "look how you're sitting." Legs wound tightly round one another and dropped to one side while I leaned back with one arm resting on a chair to my other side. I told her why, and she burst out laughing.

By day's end, I was suffering from back spasms every time I moved and dreaming of a pair of travel knit slacks. Two aspirin, a muscle relaxant, and a long walk in sweat pants set my back straight. The pants went straight back to the discard pile.

*This great word is courtesy of my brother. Thanks, Bob!


Jacqueline in NH said...

Google showed me the way here via a blog search for "menopause" and I'm so glad. Funny story! And love the term "half century". I'll read some more entries...

Beverly said...

Yes, I have found out lately that just because they fit, doesn't mean I can WEAR them....oooohhhh, no!!!

kenju said...

Love the menoposse! Thanks, Bob.

I hate tight clothing! A 16 feels so good that I buy 18's. But I can remember wearing 6-8-10-12 and 14..

JeanMac said...

I can see it and got a good laugh - maybe that's why a lot of women wear stretch fabric. I can't as it gives me the creepy crawly feeling.A good post for a good laugh.

Dreaming again said...

That had me laughing so hard my husband had to ask what I was laughing about!

Wendy said...

Oh you make me laugh. What I'd do to get back into a size 6 pants!

Bear Naked said...

Isn't it amazing how clothing (after a *certain*age) starts to feel uncomfortable once we are sitting down.
I sometimes wonder how the very young women in their too tight slacks can do it day after day.

You have a very interesting blog.
I am going to add it to my blog list.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh I long to get ino something that isn't a stretch fabric and much more stylish than I already wear. You are lucky you could get into them if not just that little bit adventurous!