Brownie points

...an honorary menopause moment

Text from teen: So when will the brownies take effect?
Text from mom: Well they must already be working because you just texted your mom. I'll be right there to pick you up.

Twofer honorary menopause moment

These from Dada:

I'm typing this while the charcoal is heating on the patio. (I'm having my Memorial Day cookout. It's two days late. Reason? When I went to the store on the holiday for my bratwurst cookout items -- buns, brats, potato salad, mustard, etc. -- I returned with everything. Everything except the bratwurst! (And I had a grocery list.) I joined my wife for a veggie meal instead.)

But that's not my point. After reading your very funny MM glasses moment, I just had to share mine from this morning. (BTW, men can have menopause moments too, right? Maybe if not from that, maybe from all the cooked egg whites?)

Today was a landmark day. I would head out early to the Central Appraisal District's office to finally apply for my "over 65" property tax exemption. Mrs. Dada volunteered to go along.

"No, you sleep in, this shouldn't take me long," was my response. To make sure everything went smoothly, I even thought to take a copy of my birth certificate. I drove the 12 miles to their office very early as Mrs. Dada slept. Everything went exactly as I'd planned.

There were no crowds, I immediately signed in and moments later, before a clerk, was all set to go. That is, until she asked, "May I see a photo ID, like your a driver's license, please?"

Hopelessly groping for my wallet was futile. "Oh, I think I left it at home," I said sheepishly, sliding my birth certificate toward her. We both laughed as she slid my rejected birth certificate back to me as I related how the last things my wife always asks me as I depart the house to go shopping are, "Got the cell phone?" and "Do you have your wallet?" (It's almost embarrassing.)

This morning I wish she hadn't slept in, that she'd been around to ask me that last question; to save me 24 miles, a lot of time, and maybe an embarrassing menopause moment.

Well maybe a backhoe...

Power Point slide at a continuing medical education conference I attended today:

"A Tough Road to Hoe"

Ho, ho, ho. Maybe the lecturer was too young to know her way down a row.

Wired for fashion

this honorary menopause moment from Edder:

Several years ago my girlfriend and I rode the bus to work downtown. She lived one bus stop before mine and would save me a seat in the morning. In those days I wore suits to work. One morning as I was making the 2 block walk to my stop I noticed people staring after me as I walked by. "I'm lookin' sharp!", I thought as I strode by in my suit, tie and trenchcoat with my bag slung jauntily over my shoulder. I boarded the bus and made my way down the aisle to my saved seat, but before I could sit down my girlfriend said "Wait" and then pulled a wire coat-hanger that was hooked on a belt loop on the back of my trenchcoat.

Honorary menopause moment

K. leads a crazy life as a single mother, cleaning our office in the early morning as well as managing another busy facility during the day. As she tossed our trash in the dumpster yesterday, she watched with a sinking heart as her 'smart key' (as in expensive, electronic key to new car) went twirling through space to the bottom of the bin. She donned rubber exam gloves a la crime scene investigation and clambered up a step stool to crawl into the dumpster after that key. Her sister arrived to help as the day began to grow light but ended up no help at all as she became helpless with laughter watching K emerge (with key) from dumpster, a blue shoe on one foot and a black one on the other.

I goofed, so Sioux me!

Occasionally, I note a slip so rich and humorous that I will post them here even if the slipper is not a menopausal woman. This fellow may as well be one so ditzy his deed.

The 'editorial obituaries' in the morning paper often include an amusing anecdote from the dearly departed's life. This fellow was billed as a 'kind and caring lawyer,' but the author notes that sometimes 'his mind whirled...too fast.'

Mr. T. was on his way to join his wife in Sioux Falls, S.D. for a family visit. He arrived at the airport way before flight time back in the days when those minutes to spare were not spent in security lines. He went up to the ticket counter to see if he could catch an earlier flight, then hurried off to board the plane.

While passing time during a layover in Lincoln, Neb., he wandered about the airport humming Sioux City Sue. That's when he realized that he would soon end up in Sioux City, Iowa per his newly purchased itinerary. When he landed in Iowa, he called his wife to hum her the wrong city/wrong state blues.

Cat's got your phone?

Here's a teenage moment to rival any lapse I've got to offer.

I was reading in the kitchen when a string of unprintable words issued from the teen as he traversed the back hallway. I squelched the maternal impulse to run and check out the situation, and, indeed, no need to get up, he soon ambled round the corner at a leisurely pace, shoulders slumped sadly.

"I can't believe it. I dropped my *#?# cell phone in the cat's water."

Well this got me to my feet. "You what? Good heavens, did you fish it out?"

"Are you kidding?" He looked at me as if I was the one who'd lost my mind. "And touch that water?"

I flew around the corner and rescued the cell phone which, amazingly, still worked. And the teenager wisely chose to still use it anyway, cat water bath and all, rather than have no phone at all.